Thursday, September 4, 2014

My Heart and Other Black Holes: Review

18336965Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner. 

Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince.

This book crushed the best possible way. I don't know how to put any words down, really. Whenever I try to come up with some sophisticated way to describe my feelings, I can't. This book is beyond my words.

My Heart and Other Black Holes brings up an ugly but very much needed topic: suicide. It goes about doing this in a darkly humorous perspective. My Heart and Other Black Holes has spunk and humor! It made me chuckle while also tearing open my heart. There are just so many feels.

Our protagonist Aysel has been feeling depressed ever since her father committed murder. As the author describes in the book at one point, "a black slug eats away all of her happy thoughts."  I couldn't quite connect to Aysel, but I didn't even care because she was funny and real. It's only later in the book when I start to sympathize with Aysel's story and really understand her character.
Enter Roman: they meet up when they find each other on the suicide site. Immediately, I knew I was going to love him. And I did. I wish there were boys in real life that were as sweet and honest and everything as him. The feels.
The initial reason why I wanted to read this book was the storyline. This book just screamed tears and honesty and the difficulties of dealing with depression. Did I love this book as much as I hoped to? No. However, it came very close to that and I still loved the characters and all the feelings this book elicited out of me.
This review jumped everywhere, because I honestly don't know how to put down my thoughts in order. So don't mind the jumbled, messy review. I just want to convey that this book deserves appreciation when it comes out. It won't be for everyone, but I can applaud the author for exploring a not-nearly-enough talked about subject with humor and hope.


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